Calming Yourself, Keeping Your Cool!

There are times when you can ignore of get over someone who has pissed you off. Then there are other times when you are so pissed off that you just want to hit a bitch in the throat, knock a motherfucker’s head in, kick a cunt in the knee, or push a trick in the street to get hit by a car. Then you realize that you are at work, church, or some other public place. You also know the Lord is watching and this makes you feel bad because those actions are not behaviors He expects of you. So you think of words to say. Before you say those words you realize that the trifling pussy ass prick skank scalawag hoe wench you’re about to curse out is a boss, coworker, neighbor, pastor, family member, church member, or some other community person that would see the side of you that you’ve been trying to change for years. You feel trapped because the nice, kind, articulate words and actions you need to use are trapped behind the other stuff you realize can’t be displayed. During these times, slowly count to five and take a deep breath – of air (be sure not to let anything else out upon the release of the breath of air). Tell the person that is annoying the hell out of you, that you heard what they expressed, but you want to sit down at a later time to discuss things further. If they continue to push your button because their dumb ass missed the point, smile and calmly repeat yourself, “I heard what you expressed and I feel it is best to sit down later to discuss things further.” If the nitwit still doesn’t get it, then excuse yourself from the location before you beat their ass. When you depart from the location, congratulate yourself, take some deep breaths, and think about getting yourself a small reward for not acting like a fool on the person. Oh yea, God is so proud of you that he may add at least five points to your heaven score which, if you pray and ask, you may be able to trade in for an earthly favor.